don't get in LOVE

all the beautiful and sunny days i was still sad n thinking about my ex. his name is "Peter" (for ex.). we were together before christmas 08 and it was really really beautiful relationship, but in some time, my grandma couln't stay, walk, move.. her backspone was in a can. she isn't so slim, so they weren't able to do some operation with her, because it was danger for her life.

and troubles began.. my grandma was unreasonably handicaped, mum had so much work, that she was not able to do something, daddy was not intersted in and who was next? my stepfather, yeah. it was him, who was helping us at all. but i wasn't ok. i was absolutelly done with my nerves. and thats why my relationship with Peter finished. i didn't go away, i went just to school and sometimes on my training. that was all. and some internet? maybe just blog, but i think that not this, but some other. but what .. now to say whats happening NOW

yesterday began school and i was on one goodbye party. with peter. trully .. that party was on his cottage. we were talking there about our EXrelationship and we both were thinking, that it'll be good to try it again. oh my god nobody knows, how happy i was! i was thinking, that my heart will melt in one second. this feeling was proceeded for one day. haha yeah, just for ONE day. Peter is really wonderful boy, but am feeling that he is not interested in our relationship. .. he behaves like somebody strange, like some guy, who just know me and who is giving me kiss on cheek without reason.

oh god please, say me what i can do. i didnt write everything, these things are just small happening from my last days and in fact its more more more worse.

fuckin' love.
i don'T want to be in love..
i just feel terrible and absolutely trashy..